We arrived to the Garden Hotel where we would be staying 11 of our 14 days out of the country on the afternoon of Saturday, October 6th. Our gotcha day was scheduled for the afternoon of Monday, October 8th, but we wanted to make sure we got to Guangzhou and settled prior to Monday. It was nice that there were 4 other Lifeline families there as well with a combined 4 kids around Marleigh's age from those other families. Those kids had a great time playing at the pool together on Sunday afternoon before the "big" day!
Needless to say, I hardly slept on Sunday night, and it wasn't due to jet lag! I was so nervous about getting Brennan the next day. I was nervous about the "trauma" he was going to experience on gotcha day; how would he handle it and how would he "handle" us as his new family? I was nervous about his level of hearing, and how we would all be able to communicate together with the language barrier. I also became very nervous thinking about how this was going to really change our current family dynamic. Of course I had thought through all these things a million times before, but the full weight of what was about to take place was really pressing on me in the wee hours of the morning that Monday morning. All I could do was lay in the bed and pray...and it truly was one of those "groaning of the Spirit" kind of prayers. I had some words to pray, and then all that would come was "please God, please God". No doubt He knew the cries of my heart that I couldn't even really verbalize at that moment.
Fast forward to around 11am on Monday morning. We met with our wonderful, wonderful guides Rebecca and Miko. They had updates on the children for each of the families. It was like a little "get to know your child right before you meet your child". They gave us all the recent physical, developmental, social, and educational information about our little boy. Rebecca, who has a leadership role with the Maoming orphanage partnership on the Ch*na side of things, kept saying "I know your boy, and he is so smart." That honestly made me feel really happy. After this meeting I ran back to our hotel room and quickly made Marleigh, Scott, and myself a PB&J sandwich before we left for the Civil Affairs office.
One the bus on the way to the Civil Affairs office, all the families were talking among ourselves about who was going to take pictures/videos for each other. Thinking back on those conversations now makes me laugh because as soon as we arrived to the office all sense of organization and planning went right out the window! We were given paperwork to review for our adoption certificate, and then we were quickly ushered to the other side of the room where our children began to appear from behind a red curtain. Brennan came out last, and he was smiling...at first. He looked at me like he recognized me from the pictures we had sent. He also let me pick him up. I kissed him and he threw his head back and giggled. Then he reached back for the caregiver who had led him out from behind that red curtain. When he realized that I wasn't going to give him back and that she was gone (at least from his sight), the flood gate broke. He began to cry and cry and cry. Even though we walked back to the other side of the room, he was pointing and saying "mama" for her. Nothing we had in the little bag for him would make him happy. He didn't want a toy car or a Doodle Pro or candy. He wanted what was familiar; the woman who had helped in caring for him for the past 4.5 years. I understood, and it made me so sad for him. I immediately went into "momma mode" though. I just quietly sat and rocked him, holding him against me and wiping his tears and his little nose. The only thing he would accept from me was a couple sips from a water bottle.
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| The first picture of Brennan with us; we got a smile in the first moments. |
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| Then he realized his caregiver had left. He is looking for her. |
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| He was so sad. I cannot even imagine what he was thinking at this point. |
As I continued to try to comfort him, Scott was called into an office to meet with the orphanage director and the caregiver who had traveled with Brennan that day. It was basically an opportunity to ask any other questions we had about him and to hear from them any insight that would be helpful to know. They told Scott that Brennan was a very sensitive little boy and that he was a slow eater. They said if we would be patient and give him time he would eat a lot. In the meantime, I realized that Brennan had completely fallen asleep on me out in the other room. I wasn't sure at that time if it was exhaustion or a coping mechanism. Now I think he was just really, really tired from traveling 4-5 hours that morning to meet us. It was soon time to leave the Civil Affairs office, and I got really concerned about him falling asleep there and waking up somewhere else. Thankfully, he woke up right as we were getting on the elevator.
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| Right before we got on the elevator. Marleigh was happy to finally have her brother! |
Our guides then took us all to a store called Jusco to get grocery items for our kids. I decided to take Brennan in the store in the hopes he might see things he liked and point them out to us. Not so much! I think he was mostly overwhelmed...imagine Target on Black Friday. That was what it seemed like inside the store! We did manage to get some milk boxes, some rice crackers, and some yogurt for him. Then we headed back to the hotel.
Scott went to a Chinese restaurant across the street to get fried rice, noodles, and congee at the suggestion of the guides. Brennan wouldn't really eat that food very well, though. He ended up eating yogurt, Pringles, and a milk box for his dinner. Oh well, nutrition wasn't exactly the top priority at that moment. He gradually seemed to warm up to us a bit through the evening, and at around 9:30pm I took him to bed. Brennan and I laid down together and looked through some books we had sent him for his birthday back in March, and the next thing I knew he was fast asleep! I was amazed by how quickly he just shut his eyes and went to sleep.
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| Fast asleep! |
Monday, October 8th has changed our lives for sure. Although Brennan was not happy at first, he has gradually come around. We certainly have a lot more bonding/attachment to do with him, and we have some medical issues to work through. All that stuff pales in comparison to the blessings and sanctification lessons this little guy has brought and continues to bring to us. We are so thankful that God had this little guy planned for us all along, and that He moved us to step out in faith to add Brennan James to our family.
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